All right, all right... I did it. I got on the scale. Well... good news is I am catching this before I ended up at my all time heaviest weight. Bad news is I am only 3.3 pounds under it. Last time I was this heavy it caused me to NOT be in a very good place mentally (emotionally). That isn't the case this time. I wonder why?
I fear that I have just resolved myself to the fact that I am going to be this size forever and that thought scares me half to death. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want my children to thinks it's OK to eat the way I have been.
I don't want anyone to think I am passing judgement. I am not even beginning to say that women should be the stereotypical Barbie. What I do know about myself is that I have NOT been making the right choices to be a healthier me. Being a size 6 does NOT make a person healthy and I know this. Altho' I DO want to be a smaller me, it is more important that I become a healthier me. I want to be someone who is more active and energetic. I'm tired of the fact that carrying the laundry up the stairs is a chore that makes me want to sit down for 10 minutes.
Enough moaning... I am officially weighing in at 247.2 Ugh!
No comments:
Post a Comment